RGV Blog

I came back from my Engineering entrance exam and told my father that I did the test so badly that if I pass the test everyone else who has written will pass. I realized later that it was a terribly insensitive thing to say to my lower middle class father who was struggling to make ends meet. It’s just that at that given moment of time I loved the way I phrased that line of how bad I was and quite oblivious to the concern it would cause him.

I think this was a promo of how bad this particular trait of mine would turn out. Today instead of my father, it could be the actors, technicians, investors, audience etc. But was I doing it deliberately? Not really because the reason I did the test so badly was because instead of studying I was watching films. I was and am on this constant high of living every moment of my life to the fullest and in the course of it I “phoonk” things unintentionally.

The only silver lining to this trait of mine is that I continue “phoonking” relentlessly so as a result good things come out of it too.

To give you an example when somebody asked me to name the worst film I made, I said it’s “Drohi”. That’s because only I know my state of mind and how I went about making that film. But inadvertently “Drohi” became responsible for two of the best films of my career and probably my standing in the industry today.

I came to Mumbai to sign Madhuri Dixit for “Drohi”. Her secretary told me her dates are not available for 6 months. Boney Kapoor suggested that there is this new girl called Urmila who has done a film called “Narasimha”. When I saw the film I didn’t think much of her but as I was in hurry because of Nagarjuna’s impending dates and no one else available, I signed her. The film failed and she was written about negatively too. In the course of making “Drohi” me and Mani Ratnam together wrote a script called “Gayam” in which for a supporting role Mani suggested Urmila. That’s not because he thought much of her either but just that she might be ok for the role. Now while shooting for “Gaayam” when Urmila did a certain dance movement I just got so mesmerized that I got inspired to make “Rangeela”.

I was very impressed with this story of a James Hadley Chase novel where a gangster falls in love with a girl and the girl does not know that he is a gangster. By the time he wants to get out it’s too late and he dies. I made this story into “Drohi” and when it failed I changed the setting and backdrop and years later remade it as “Satya”.

So in effect “Drohi” caused both “Rangeela” and “Satya” to happen. If I didn’t meet Urmila, I would not have made “Rangeela” and if “Drohi” worked I wouldn’t have made “Satya”. So if today my standing in the industry is substantially due to “Rangeela” and “Satya”, only I know how much my mind state of “Drohi” contributed to it. So any outsider who would have thought I phoonkd “Drohi” he would not realize how much I got out of the same film elsewhere.

Similarly when I came to Mumbai to show Sanjay Dutt “Gaayam” he was very keen to get it made in Hindi which was titled “Nayak”. I also had “Rangeela” project with me. My funders were not keen on “Rangeela” but were gung-ho on “Nayak”, the reason being Sanjay Dutt at that time was a much bigger star than Aamir. Since I was insistent on doing both films they reluctantly agreed to fund both films thinking “Nayak” will cover “Rangeela’s” lossess. After shooting for 15 days for “Nayak” Sanjay got arrested in the blast case and was in jail for a long time. Meanwhile “Rangeela” got completed and became a blockbuster. Also in the same waiting period I did a Telugu film called “Anaganaga Oka Roju” which became a super hit. So by the time Sanjay came out I felt instead of making a serious dark film like “Nayak” let me scrap “Nayak” and make a caper film like “Anaganaga Oka Roju” and ended up making “Daud”. Years later I remade “Nayak” as “Sarkar”.

So in effect what I started out to make what triggered me off at each point of time, what excited me at any given moment results in variously different good, bad, ugly films but only I know in my heart what resulted from where. Purely based on that knowledge, I have no regrets about a single decision I ever made because as long as you keep making decisions something or the other will keep happening. This is because decisions will create energy and work and whether they turn out to be good or bad cannot be judged necessarily in reference to any specific time or event. The point is that a life’s momentum is in an ability to make decisions and I take great pleasure in doing that.

That’s why I said “I love phoonking” even though I do get “phoonkd” many a time.

I strongly believe that both making love and fucking are equally fantastic in their own different ways but it is having sex is what I think is obscene.

And before any of you guys jump on to me with blazing guns for the above line try to understand that it is a metaphor… but then maybe it is not :)

Any ways see you,

and Happy “phoonking”