Work
We are born, we are tended to by our parents, we go to school, spend years getting educated without having the faintest idea of what exactly education means, and the day we truly understand it our education would have been finished. We only realize the value of the so-called education when we are given a position to apply it in a practical sense and most of us would be pretty much lost. That is because the emphasis our parents put on us was to get marks and never on education.
So to get marks we, by heart, we copy, or study specifically towards questions what we think will be asked or study studiously so as to get distinction but not even having a thought or an idea in hell, how and where we would be applying most of what we study. It amazes me that throughout my growing years not once did my parents or teachers tell me that the purpose of education is to get knowledge and marks are just a proof to an outside world that you do have that knowledge. Due to their insecurity and also their own ignorance or over looking of the purpose, the thrust they put on us was always to get marks which hopefully could result in better jobs.
And then when we get a job the thrust on us will be to work hard in pretty much the same way as how they thrust education. My grandfather who was a Civil Engineer used to hammer into me to work hard both in my studies and when I was doing a job in the construction of Krishna Oberoi Hotel in Hyderabad. He told me that he used to wake up by 4.00am everyday throughout his life. When I asked him how come some guys who wake up at 10.00am are more successful than him, he used to get angry.
I wanted to tell him that it’s not about 4.00am or 10.00am and it’s also not about what you do in the time that you are awake but it is about how you are feeling when you are doing that is what the point of life is all about, but for fear of being slapped I resisted that as he was a pretty aggressive man. I believe that if you are constantly doing what you are doing just because you are told to do or because of your fear of tomorrow or because of commitments and responsibilities you would have truly lost the whole purpose of being alive.
Life is but a cycle of, we are born, we grow up, we get married, we have children, we make them grow up, we make them get married, we get old and then we die. God or nature or whichever thing, gave us life is only to surely take it away and as long as it is ultimately only that, why not just make the best of it.
My people keep telling me that I work too hard. In reality I never worked in my life. Work is something I define as what you have to do. But if you want to do it, it becomes a pleasure and I always did in my life only what I wanted to do. The trap of programming society puts us in and religion and morality create in us a guilt for whatever we love, and a fear of rejection and failure and the constant pressure of raising to expectations.
As long as death is inevitable there is no question of any of us having a state of permanent success. Life in itself is a process, for example in my college days I used to sometimes have problems with raising 40 rupees and today sometimes I have a problem in raising 4 crores, but what I feel about it in that particular state of mind is exactly the same. Everybody thought I made a bad film in Drohi but it’s only because of Drohi I met Urmila and it’s only because of Urmila I made Rangeela. It’s only because of Sanjay Dutt’s arrest Nayak got shelved and everybody either sympathized or gloated depending on their relationship with me over the misfortune without realizing that it will resurface as Sarkar. So in effect everything in life is connected. A present day success can be the start of an impending failure or vice-versa. So as long as everything is so uncertain, why worry about it and just do what you feel like doing at every single moment of your life.
‘Forget yesterday, live today and fantasize tomorrow’ is the motto of my life and it has always been that ever since I was an unruly kid, and a so-called irresponsible youngster and an erratic and eccentric adult.
With the first money of about 2 lakhs I got for my first movie, my grandfather was after me to buy a piece of land in Jubilee Hills to secure my future and I went ahead and spent it on the interior decoration of a rented office which I anyway was supposed to vacate in a few months time. My grandfather predicted to everyone that I will be a massive failure because of this attitude of mine. Throughout his life he worked very hard without once thinking what exactly he is working towards. I failed to explain to him that the few months’ pleasure I would get in staying in that office with a décor of what I want to experience was much more than my fear of what will happen in the future if I become a failure.
If all your work is geared towards securing yourself against failure and death why live at all?
Tagged as drohi, education, failure, films, rangeela, sanjay dutt, sarkar, success, urmila, work + Categorized as My Life
December 2nd, 2011 at 4:17 PM
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September 30th, 2011 at 11:16 PM
[...] Re: forget CAT….look beyond….you will find real wisdom…. – 30-09-2011, 11:16 PM go through this article……Work | RGV Blog……. [...]
December 11th, 2010 at 3:35 PM
thnks 2 nurulla n ramu…….
October 8th, 2010 at 3:03 PM
How often are you provoked
To live dangerously,
To think different,
To become a …
rebellion
eMotions
Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Pain. Anguish. Emotions aren’t permanent. Some emotions live for a moment and some stay for a longer time. It’s all a matter of our attitude. In my life, there is one emotion that stayed a longer time and brought in many transitions in my life. Anguish. Whenever you feel some anguish, you’re closed to the world. Even to your dearest friend you’re closed. When you’re in misery you shrink, you blame, you won’t celebrate. But you can’t live in the state of misery for a long time, because, fortunately, no one has been able to resist love. When you fall in love, you become poetic. The splendor, the beauty, when it explodes within you, you will start dancing, you will start singing. You’re reborn. You’re open. You’re rebellion – rebellion out of love, rebellion out of creativity, and the rebellion wants to discontinue with the past. The rebel is a creator; his whole philosophy is that of creativity. The rebel can’t be half-hearted. He can’t choose a few things from the past, and not choose a few other things. The past as a whole has to be completely denied. Perhaps this is the reason why I refused to continue formal education, why I stopped playing Badminton, why I ignored some people, though they were harmless. It’s only after knowing the behavior of the rebellion I understood why this new character [rebellion] in me broke some gentle relationships [of the past] at playground(s) and past-time corners, which I regret. But after many years I rekindled a couple of old [broken] friendships by sharing my personal history. What is my personal history?
iNtentions
Many years ago, in 1998, I didn’t want to continue my formal education. It was the second time that I had felt to do it. The first time that I had felt to stop my formal education was at the age of 18. Perhaps in early teens I hadn’t enough courage to live with my own convictions. So I was, in a certain way, forced to go to college. Obviously, I didn’t pursue academic activities seriously. College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it. In my early twenties, as I said earlier, I refused to continue my formal education for a post graduate degree. In 1998, all I knew about myself was just one thing: that I was dissatisfied with my life and career. I wanted to know more about myself. Yes! That’s the first step to what I am today, a happy, contented man, though not so successful [in making money] as my high school friends who were just average in studies. What I am today is what I never wanted to be a few years ago. Actually, I have a passion for creativity. When I was in early teens, I was plunged by cynicism. Cynicism sucks life out of you; creativity puts life into you. Captivated by the process of creating reality from illusion and always striving for perfection I indulged in leisure, doing nothing else. I started to write to give myself a creative challenge, not with any intention to publish. I was writing and writing. I was working for no other reason than to hear people praise me. I craved that praise because I was carrying around the residue of academic failure. But it’s not a man’s life. You know, making money is man’s responsibility. So, I took up a clerical job in a junior college in 2002. I concentrated less on the menial job, more on visualizing a film story with junior college as backdrop. I lived in an illusion that somebody would discover me. In reality, cinema is a difficult world to break into. Through letters, conversations I had expressed my fond hope for camaraderie with film associates/crew to get access into the world of cinema where we can fulfill our creative potential. In fact, artists of all types should not want for someone to come along and ‘discover’ them, but should instead empower themselves to take control of their own careers, which I have failed to understand and succeed. It’s never too late in life or fiction to revise. So I resolved to change my job designation. After coherent watch over the intricacies of English Faculty at Junior college level [especially the rural class] I became assertive to work as English faculty. In June 2005, I wrote a letter to the college management about my intention to enter the English Faculty. The classes for the Senior Intermediate were re-opened on June 02, 2005. There was one dangerous and chaotic class in the college. Strangely the [private] management, overwhelmed with their extreme nuisance, hadn’t conducted English classes till July 13, 2005. Later, I was called to educate the offensive boys and indecent girls [not all]. It’s my first classroom teaching experience ever. Like the other ‘experienced’ lecturers, I didn’t restrain from teaching those violent students. What gave me the strength to stand amidst the chaos and persist for one academic year? READING . By reading books we share the courage and endurance of adventurers, eventually reinforcing our characters with perseverance and resilient spirit. Like other lecturers, who had given up teaching those ‘ugly’ students, even I too was humiliated by their villainous behavior. But I hardened myself to listen to their ‘vulgar’ language and endured their bad behavior and learnt a lesson on humiliation the hard way: People have reacted to humiliation in different ways. Some went mad. Some committed suicide. Some took the path of violent resistance. But I bore it in a different way. Under the pressure, you become strong, even unbreakable. Living under intense pressure is underground resistance to wickedness. You become hard and bright, able to cut through things the world imagined to be impenetrable. So what comes out at the end is an increase in goodness, not just in wealth. There’s one more eccentric point about me as English faculty. I haven’t pursued formal education to teach English. But I have acquired not only the ability to speak English fluently and write English creatively but also to teach academic English. There are many books that teach Spoken English. Many of them are useful to some extent. But the best way of learning to speak good English is a vast reading of books [plays, novels and poetry]. Not until the age of seventeen, had I had the habit of reading books. Then what’s the reason behind the transition? Discouragement. At school, I had distinction in academics. Also, I had excelled in a sport, Badminton. I had been playing Badminton with a racket worth Rs.175. I wanted a Rs.800/- worth racket for a better performance and I deserved it. But I was rejected. I was hurt. Never to be hurt again, I wanted to be perfectly safe, so I wrapped my heart carefully with hobbies [reading, writing, and music] and little luxuries [Levi’s clothes, Adidas sneakers].
There’s a lot you can do even when you are discouraged and discontented at any stage of your life only if you have the knack to find a positive for every negative and see every setback as a challenge.
The End
July 7th, 2010 at 4:11 PM
thanks ramu
September 17th, 2009 at 10:43 PM
Beleive it or not, I think exactly same as u. I am called insane most of the times my friends.